Help! How Can I Bond with my Children?

Article appeared in the Towne Laker magazine.

“My child likes our caregiver more than me — at least it seems that way.”
This is a common misconception and fear of many parents.  It’s okay to allow your child to bond with other people outside of your family.  If you have found a reliable and consistent caregiver for your child, then be thankful they are bonding.  It is very important in the early years of a child’s life that they have a consistent caregiver that makes them feel safe.

Bonding Tip 1:  Remember that you want to have quality and consistency rather than quantity.  Remember to spend quality time with your child.  If you are a working mom, then make sure that you spend time with your children when you get home from work.  If your house needs cleaning after you get home from work, and that tends to take away time from your children, then consider hiring a housekeeper.  Your children need to feel loved and wanted.  You will feel better about bonding with your child if you spend quality time with them rather than “rushed” time.

What is quality time?  It is spending one-on-one time with your child without disruptions.  Quality time might consist of giving your child a bath, reading a book, playing ball outside, making dinner together, helping him or her with homework, folding laundry together, going for a walk or anything else that your child might like to do with you.Bonding Tip 2: If you are still feeling guilty after spending time with your child, then you may want to revaluate why you are having these feelings.  Your instinct may be telling you that your children need more of you than leftovers.  Enjoy your children while they are young, and your bond will continue to grow!Question:  “I am a working mom and I just don’t have very much time to spend with my children when I get home.  What can I do with my children to make them feel that I love them?”

You may want to purchase fruits or veggies that you can turn into a quick edible craft.  The edible craft will keep your little ones’ tummies full until you get dinner on the table and their heart happy while you spend time with them.  For example, purchase pre-cut/washed celery, peanut butter, and raisins.  When you get home take out the snack and make ants on a log with your child.  It will be a quick, fun and meaningful project with your child!